ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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