Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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