Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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