i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
