out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
