I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
