I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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