I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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