Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
