I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
