I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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