I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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