I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
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The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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