ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
