Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
