doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
