Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
