Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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