Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
