The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Green mimosas i think yes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
