And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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