There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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