their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
