I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
