Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
