I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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