I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize