I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
