Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
