I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
