Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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