similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
