I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
