it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
where am i from again
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
