Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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