too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
