is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
