I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
