Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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