i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
These tits shall not be calmed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
