I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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