Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
