Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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