I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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