ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
