people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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