they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize