Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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