i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
