she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
