I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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