why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
