Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I AM VODKA MAN
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
