She said her name was "party"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
