i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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