careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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