Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
