careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
