a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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