big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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