That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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