real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
