____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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