covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
